


Letting Him Go

by confused_bliss



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Could Be Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 15:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2234412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confused_bliss/pseuds/confused_bliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian's thoughts as he watches Justin sleeping on the eve of him leaving for New York. Poignant, yet filled with hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Him Go

**A/N** : Another long ago written gapfiller. I was re-watching the episodes at the time; I rarely watch the final episode. It's too devastating for me. But... I hope my version will leave the reader with a bit more hope. To any that have not read this previously, I do hope you enjoy it. :)  
  


* * *

 

 

** Letting Him Go **

 

 

 

 

 

Silently I lay in our bed watching you sleep. Makes me wonder how long I had been thinking of it as ' _our bed'._ I think for a much longer time than I would ever care to admit.

 

 

 

 

You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I know my understanding of that will never change. Laying here beside you, I know I could drink you in forever.

 

 

 

I remember the explosion that changed the course of my life forever. The moment that I not only accepted, but acknowledged what a certain persistent blond boy meant to me. How you had irrevocably changed my life. Changed it for the better, regardless of how long it took for me to admit it.

 

 

 

In the morning you leave for New York to begin living your dream. I realize how much that variable had changed as well. It didn’t seem like so long ago that I was your _only_ dream. I was a selfish asshole for so long. I took so many things for granted. Lost you at times as a direct result. There is a part of me that wants to use my renowned skills to keep you by my side. We both know I could manage it so effortlessly.

 

 

 

I won't do that. I want you to be complete. If you ever return to me... NO, I can’t think of it in those terms... _when_ you return to me, I want it to have been your choice. Yours alone.

 

 

 

I am so proud of you. With the greatest of ease you have become exactly what I always knew you would be... the best homosexual possible. In truth, you have always been that... even from the very beginning. My lesson was to learn how to be that myself. You taught me that...among so many other things. In fact, I’m still learning from you... whether I ever admit that to you or to anyone else.

 

 

 

I refuse to believe this is the end, regardless of what I told you tonight. We have come too far. Survived so many obstacles. This is just yet another one.

 

 

 

Time is only a word. The miles that will separate us is only space. One that is far from impenetrable.

 

 

 

I reach out stroking your blond hair away from your eyes. Eyes that can reach into my very soul. I smile as I see those eyes flickering open, and I become lost within those beautiful blue depths.

 

 

 

Morning is not upon us yet. I will give my prince the sweetest of memories to take to New York. When the time is right and you have achieved your much deserved success, I know you will return to me... or I to you. It doesn't really matter who goes to who. Not anymore. All that matters is that we're together.

 

 

 

Justin smiles up at me with that smile that forever melts my heart. I knew then without any further doubts that everything would be fine.

 

 

 

A hushed whisper was spoken. "I love you, Brian."

 

 

 

My heart was beating wildly in my chest as my eyes devoured him. Unable to pause to speak, I leaned in to crush my lips against the luscious ones of the man that captured my heart so long ago, tasting that incomparable essence; basking in the love I feel for you, no longer afraid to surrender to it.

 

 

 

Yes, I can let him go. And, survive the separation no matter how long it may last.

 

 

 

After all, it's only time. We have always been and shall always be one simple thing. Forever.

 

 

 

The End


End file.
